She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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