I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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