Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
