Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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