ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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