How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
