Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
