im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize