Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize