I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
