Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There's always time for handjobs
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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