you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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