at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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