And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
