I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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