just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
