he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
