Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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