i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My butt remains clenched, sir.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
