Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Randomize
