We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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