just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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