I cannot find my penis.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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