OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
