please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
