you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
