i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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