college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Randomize
