Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
