My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
