belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
