When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
MIDGETS
????
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
