DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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