You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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