I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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