Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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