There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
