Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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