She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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