We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
