If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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