jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
