the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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