she smelled like a LAN party
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
What a dumb baby whore.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
