why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
