Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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