Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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