Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Panties = found
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