I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize