I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
