Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
someone owes me an orgasm
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
