So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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