You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
