cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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