Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize