Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
