I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize