do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize