Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
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