I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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